A Baker's Hands, A Heart of Gold
by blancoroja
Summary: Peeta asks Katniss a fateful question and the answer leads him to much more than he expected. "Katniss? Would you have killed me?"


**A/N:** Credits go to 9ine_lives (LJ account), who wrote the first couple of paragraphs and thus motivated me to write this :D (which I did in a Facebook comment ^^)

"Katniss?"

"Yeah, Peet?" Katniss says distractedly, brushing a strand of hair that's fallen out of her braid away from her eyes.

"Would you have killed me?" Peeta says, his voice quiet but steady.

Katniss whips around to face Peeta, hurriedly shoving the pitcher she's holding onto the counter. Half the water sloshes out of the pitcher at the sudden movement, but Katniss keeps her eyes on Peeta, ignoring the growing puddle of water on the floor.

"You know, back in our first games. If worst came to worst...would you?" Peeta's eyes waver, trying to search Katniss' expression, but she remains expressionless, mouth twitching in annoyance.

"What kind of question is that?" Katniss finally snaps. "I thought we—look, Peeta, we agreed to put this all behind us."

"I know," Peeta's tongue darts out to wet his lips. "I just—I...I want to know, Katniss. I _need_ to know." His crystal blue eyes search Katniss' with a startling, almost frightening intensity, as if he is seeking for something important, something crucial. Katniss doesn't know what Peeta's looking for, but she does her best to meet his gaze. After all that they've been through, she won't lose Peeta to a question like this. She _can't_ lose Peeta. She'd rather die than do that.

And then...it clicked in her mind. She knew with absolute certainty that she loved Peeta Mellark, that she can't imagine life without him, that she doesn't _want_ life without him. And she felt the same way she did now back at those fateful, terrible games.

"There is no such thing," Katniss starts slowly. "As a 'worst comes to worst' time when I would have killed you." She remembers her nightmares in which Peeta was tortured in front of her eyes, how she would wake up screaming, her body drenched in sweat, her eyes flying open with images of him in pain still seared into her eyelids. She remembers the feeling of being safe and content in Peeta's arms, wrapped up in a cocoon of warmth and comfort and so much love it almost hurt. She remembers.

_There is nothing worse than a life without you_, she thinks, but she doesn't say it.

"I would never, Peeta. _Never_." Katniss says, and by the way Peeta looks at her, she knows that he understands exactly what she was trying to say.

"Good," Peeta says, and a smile – not of relief, which would have stabbed at her, insinuating that he didn't have faith in her, but of sheer joy and brightness, like sunshine itself – spread across his face. Katniss thinks that his face might have split in two if his smile was any bigger. "That's—that's good, Katniss."

"Don't give me 'good'," she mutters and punches him in the arm, lightly, but not too lightly. "You idiot, Peeta, don't ask me a question like that."

"I'm sorry," Peeta says sincerely, although he's still beaming, and the grin takes away from the apologetic tone. "I just...I don't know, the whole time the Capitol...did things to me…" He trails off, swallowing, fingers clenching into fists.

Peeta still can't talk about his torture, no matter how brief in passing, without cringing. Katniss can't listen to it without thinking of a deranged Peeta's hands like iron vises around her neck, but she knows that Peeta is long gone, and _this_ Peeta – the one who reminds her of a boy throwing bread at her, of a teenager repeatedly risking his life to save hers, of a man who brought light back into her life after she was enshrouded by darkness – is right here with her and is going to stay.

Katniss' eyes fill with warmth, and she looks at Peeta, who seems to get strength from her gaze. He swallows again before continuing, his voice firm and strong. "I always felt like you would never have betrayed me. I knew, Katniss. I always knew."

"Good, you idiot." Katniss calls him that again, but he just smiles that ridiculous, lopsided Peeta smile at her, and she can't help but smile back after a moment. And then Peeta's arms are around her and she has her face buried into his neck and she feels safe, happy, and home.

"I love you," Peeta breathes against her dark tresses before leaning back slightly and framing her face with his callused, baker's fingers. Katniss takes him in for a moment, the glossy gold of his hair, the brilliant blue of his eyes, the love in every facet of his face that she could see. Love for her.

"I love you, too," Katniss says and leans in to kiss him. His mouth is gentle but firm over hers, and he tastes like yeast and rain and something that almost burns her mouth with its sweetness. "Next time you ask me something like that, I'm going to beat you up with your rolling pin. I swear it."

"Okay," Peeta says, laughing, a smear of flour across his nose that Katniss wants to kiss off. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good," Katniss says, and she takes in the sight of their small but comfy home and the sunlight streaming through the windows and her wonderful, courageous, amazing fiancé, and she gives the truest, warmest smile she's given in what feels like forever.


End file.
